That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
