I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
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