You made me cry and you don't even care
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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