So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just google imaged poop.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
