Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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