i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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