When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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