she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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