she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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