So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
