I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I want to be your penis for a week.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize