final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm at about main and main street
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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