they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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