the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
