East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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