You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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