I need help removing her.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
