hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
