so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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