We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
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the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
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They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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