hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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