dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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