I must be too annoying 4 u.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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