hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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