Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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