I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
