people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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