Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
