is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
