ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize