Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
