Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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