I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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