Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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