thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
