What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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