Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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