The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
