I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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