just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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