Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
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Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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