i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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