KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
