please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
