i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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