bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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