You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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