so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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