i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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