I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i came on her dog
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
