i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize