Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I need moral support for this bender
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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