i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
