she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
