So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
