Don't make out with my wife yet
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
