Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Can I color on your dick again?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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