I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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