Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
