That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
