Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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