wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I need mimosas to revive my soul
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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