Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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