How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
