My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize