I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
