You smell like a Billy Joel song
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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