What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
