I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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